“Never confuse the size of your paycheck with the size of your talent.”
~ Marlon Brando
That could go both ways (being overpaid or underpaid). Our beloved Bill Knoche presented on this topic at the monthly meeting of the “I HATE Budgeting (But I Like Having Money)” support group.
Here’s the thing: Money (thinking about it, talking about it, making decisions about it) gets to a very tender place in all of us.
And as Bill pointed out, “We confuse what we do and what we have with who we are and our perfection.”
I’m committed to reminding myself of the magic that is me (not in a “I’m a precious snowflake” kind of way, but in a “I am valuable” kind of way), despite the checkbook or net worth statement. But even with the work I do, I am not immune to wanting more (and feeling guilty for those thoughts) and feeling elated when I see that the investments my IRA have increased in value. We’re all a work in progress.
Bill made many valuable points and I am happy to share them.
- Slow down.
- Don’t live your life on autopilot.
- Become more aware of yourself including what you need & what drives/motivates you.
- Be gentle with yourself.
- You were born a “10,” you’ll live your life as a “10,” and you’ll die a “10.”
Thoughts that value you <10 are bullshit.
We were directed to the words of Werner Erhard, (while I couldn’t find the quote he mentioned, this one is appropriate): “If you’re not all right the way you are it takes a lot of effort to get better. Realize you’re all right the way you are, and you’ll get better naturally.”
- Invest in yourself, especially in improving your communication skills because it’ll result in more satisfying relationships. It’s easier to listen to others when you already know you’re a “10;” your attention and energy won’t be so focused on proving you are a “10.”
- Childhood behaviors are no longer effective.
- It’s okay to break the “rules.”
- It’s okay to cry.
- Life’s better when you’re laughing.
What I’d like the world to know is that money is only one way to define worth and value (and an ineffective one at that); there are many other successful ways.
Bill shared this nugget: “You’ll never outperform your concept of self; you will self-correct the moment you outperform your expectation.”
But how can we change this? What are we willing to give up and willing to let go of in order to choose a different experience or outcome?
Here’s a question Bill suggested we ask ourselves, “What would make me proud of myself today?” I couple that with a quote by Dr. Paul Homoly, “Make all decisions based on the person your would like to become.”
Bill says, “We all do stuff we know isn’t good for us. Rather than judge ourselves, laugh it off, it’s a rebellion!” If you don’t (laugh it off), that self-judgment will only feed the shadow of your ego who won’t let you succeed; it’ll keep reminding you of your shortcomings.
As my dear friend, life coach Nancy Rizzo always says, “No shoulds, have-tos, or forcing…simple, comfortable, doable and your way” is the way to stay on, what Nancy calls, “The Joy Road.”
We were asked to name our two takeaways from the meeting. For me, they were:
- Is this (thought, belief, expectation, assumption) true?
- If it’s not, what could be true? What possibilities await?